My second miscarriage was in July of 2006. I was 20 years old, and was still married to my first husband. We were not trying to get pregnant. In fact, we had just bought our first house a couple of months before I miscarried. I was pretty stressed out when I found out I was pregnant, because we needed both incomes in order to pay our living expenses. I was already worrying about the six weeks I would have to take off for maternity leave.
One night, after work I went to Wal-Mart to buy pregnancy tests. I couldn't wait to get home to take the test, so I took it in the bathroom at Wal-Mart. Within a couple of minutes I could see the positive line. I took another test the next morning, and again it was positive.
I called the doctor's office to make an appointment. However, I decided to go to a different doctor. Several of my friends had recommended their OB, so I decided to give them a try. I was informed when I called to make an appointment that the doctor would not see me until I was 8 weeks. I explained to her that I had had a previous miscarriage. She still said he would not move it up unless you have had 3 miscarriages. Great. So I waited.
One morning, in July I woke up cramping, and I went to the bathroom and was bleeding really heavy. I was one week away from going to my 8 week appointment. I woke my husband up and told him we had to go to the doctor.
All of the doctor's were booked for the day, so I was seen by the mid-wife. She was really nice. She did a pelvic exam, and told me my cervix was still closed. However, she told me with how heavy I was bleeding it didn't look good. She got me in to get an ultrasound to find out what was going on. The ultrasound tech could not tell me what I was looking at, or give me any explanations. I remember seeing a black oval sack on the screen. It was my first ultrasound, so I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for. Thirty minutes after the ultrasound the mid-wife told me it was a blighted ovum. That is were there was a conception. The sack started forming and growing giving me the positive pregnancy test, but the baby never started growing. Even though this pregnancy was not planned I was still devastated. I left the doctor's office crying. It didn't help having to walk back out into the waiting room to leave the building. There were several pregnant women sitting there, or women that had already had their babies and were waiting for their postpartum check-up.
My husband and I didn't really say anything on the way home. Once home my husband decided to start playing video games. I was so upset. Not only because I had just found out that I had miscarried, but because I felt so alone. Later that night I passed the sack the baby was supposed to be in. Miscarriage simply sucks. For those that don't what to say after someone has gone through a miscarriage, a simple “I'm here for you.” works. As a friend or family member of someone that has miscarried or has had some other tragedy in their life try to make it a point to check in on them every once in while to make sure their feeling well.
